The Tower of Babel [1995]

-Hello little fellow, and what's your name

-My name is Moggie

-And aren't you a fine big boy, Moggie, How old are you?

-Fifty-two-and-a half, Santa

-Hmmmm. Come sit on my knee, Moggie. AAAARGH no, sit here beside me. Are you a good boy, Moggie?

-Yes, Santa

-And what would you like for Christmas?

-I don't know, Santa

-Would you like a cowboy outfit?

-No, thanks, Santa, I already have the I.C.P.

-How about an inflatable woman?

-No, thanks, Santa, I have been married to one for 29 years

-Good boy, good boy, and how is she?

-Better than nothing, Santa

-Is there something she would like?

-Mel Gibson, Santa

-Hmm. What else is she interested in?

-Dogs, Santa

-Dogs? Is it bad, Moggie?

-It's hell, Santa. For further information consult back-issues of this journal

-Poor lad, poor lad. And is she badly infected?

-Yes, Santa. Even to the extent of buying books in a language the stranger does not know, just because they've got the word "chien" in the title.

-Ah, Francais! Zut, alors! I know what will warm ze cockles of 'er 'eart and make her feel you are ze most wonderful man in ze monde. This Christmas I will bring you a Globalink Translator Deluxe.

-What is a Globalink etc, Santa?

-Why, little Moggie, look at the box. This is a computer programme which, when inserted in your trusty PC, translates text quickly from French to English and vice versa, idiomatically, with 90% accuracy. Put this in the stocking of your beloved and she will be forever grateful. Put it in the PC, however, and she will be able to enjoy canine nonsense in French as well as English.

-Hoopla, hoopla, Santa, show me. Here, by happy coincidence, I have the breed standard for the Glen of Imaal Terrier, as printed in the French book "Chiens du Monde".

Glen of Imaal

Nationality irelandaise

Origin Presented the first time to the public in an Irish canine exhibition in 1933, the Glen of Imaal has been imported to U.S. in 1968.

Switchboard Has the exception of its hair, that is hard and crimped, it resembles in all point the Welsh Corgi.

Size 36 cm for males, 33 cm for the females.

Weight: 14 to 16 kg for males, 14 kg for females.

It is a small compact dog, has the head racee, to paws courtes, to hazel eyes, to the tail gaily carried. It hair is wheat or gray-blue.

Personality Stubborn and aggressive as most of Burrows, it is very attached to its masters but supports May the presence others animals. It is an agreeable and intelligent companion, quoiquun nothing quarrelsome.

Aptitudes It is before all a dog of company. When the opportunity is in following, it is also a remarkable hunter of mouse. A training rapid can equally to make some a good foxes and badger hunter.

-But, Santa, that's rubbish

-No, no, little Moggie, that's no way to talk of an important Irish breed. Well, perhaps, in the case of the, even there. After all, how many breeds world wide are recognized as a remarkable hunter of mouse, especially when the opportunity is in following. Courage, Mon Brave, let us see what the French standard is for the Kerry Blue.

(Mumble mumble burp.....:-)

Irish Nationality Origins. The Kerry Blue has been created the XVIII century by Irish shepherds of the county of Kerry. Its main influences are the Irish Burrow, the Dandie-Dinmont and the Bedlington. Its switchboard has been fixed to the find of the first world war. It shares with the Shamrock the honour to have become one of the symbols of Ireland.

Switchboard. Size 46 to 48 cm for the males, a bit less for females.

Weight: 15 to 17 kg. It is a powerful and elegant dog, to the well drawn body, to it you long and narrow.

The muzzle is strong, the hardly marked stop.

Eyes: very somber.

Ears, in form of V, carried to the before.

Neck: long.

Tail: trained (cut).

Members: rights, solid frame.

Dress: silky and undulated.

Colours: all nuances of the bleu.

Quarrelsome Personality, stubborn, but affectionate and easy to train.

Aptitudes small prey hunter and rats, reporter dog, the Kerry-Blue can be equally, with the same efficiency, dog of herds, watchdog or dog of police.

Remark To compete them, the Kerry-Blue has to undergo first a trimming.

-Santa, I......

-No, no, little Moggie, do not despair. The French are not the only people to have difficulty with the Kerry, to the well drawn body. Its prey includes, after all, not only small prey and rats but also hunters and reporter dogs, which may explain their bad press. Its switchboard has, after all, been fixed to the find of the first world war. Let us instead try the Chihuahua, as described in a French magazine "Chiens".

Tiny, it never will leave you. Signs (dogs admitted not) do not worry it: this instant it disappears in the bag of Mrs. or under the jacket of Sir: a true (fleeting stowaway). It is the dog of an alone master and the love that it does not cease to demonstrate you is touched. Its intelligence is etonnante and despite its tiny size it is solid as a rock. That that a day has had a friend chihuahua, no longer will want other race.


-Yes Moggie

-Take your Globalink Translator Deluxe and shove it up your...

-Moggie! and I thought you were a nice little boy

-So did Brendan Smith.